to be so revolted by how you’ve been treated or how you feel about yourself, that you can’t even finish an entire meal because halfway through one bite you lose your appetite. your throat tightens, your stomach says no, and your vision becomes blurry from the tears already on the verge of falling. “what’s wrong?”Continue reading “what’s wrong?”

I took back power, but not sure how to feel about it. I still wonder and hope.

my body physically hurts from not being able to say all the things i want to say. knowing nothing i do will change anything. knowing that i will never be the right person for you again.

There is no more warning. There is no more mental protection from stopping myself from the urge to never open my eyes again. All my life I’ve always struggled with self worth. The thoughts would come as “What if I just swerved into the median? Into the oncoming traffic? What if I just opened theContinue reading “just do.”

I remember telling him to stop. I remember saying how badly it hurt, how hard I tried to push him off, and how nothing I said or did made a difference. I remember frantically looking at the clock. It was 3am — the moment my eyes filled with tears and I decided to give up.Continue reading “I’ve never been with a Bengali girl before.”

Every damn day there’s something bringing me down enough to make me want to forget about all of my responsibilities, and hide in my room until the next morning. I’m stuck in this same routine of worrying, relaxing, and worrying some more. When does it stop? Does it ever end? I feel as if lifeContinue reading “tired and uninspired?¿”

I’ve been letting my thoughts destroy me inside and out for years and I’ve finally come to a point where I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t sleep without at least a thousand worries  The one thing I’ve learned to fear the most is myself. Death surrounds us every day in the most simplest ofContinue reading “awareness.”

i don’t know how long i can keep up with this “work hard play later” attitude, because i literally was dozing off behind the wheel tonight and had to call a friend of mine to stay awake until i parked in front of my apartment. i knew i’d have to do a lot this semesterContinue reading “tomorrow is another day.”

love it when you’re trying to sleep but all your dreams are about the things that keep stressing you out so then you don’t want to, can’t, sleep anymore and turns out it’s only 6am during an annoyingly hot, summer night.